Many people think of some mental illnesses as belonging to one sex or another. Anxiety is a “women’s problem” – of course, we women are prone to “fits of the vapours!” ADHD is a disorder that primarily afflicts boys.  And eating disorders? Those affect young women. These beliefs are inaccurate and problematic. 

While it’s true that some psychiatric disorders occur more commonly in one sex or the other, every mental illness can affect either sex. Unfortunately, sex-based stereotypes can keep people from seeking help, because they add to the shame that is already so deeply tied to mental illness. 

In my latest episode of PSYCHEDUP, I spoke with Cedar, who shared her story of living with anorexia nervosa, an eating disorder that’s often misunderstood and oversimplified. Eating disorders are not about vanity, or even food, and they can affect anyone, regardless of gender, age, or background.

For decades, research, awareness campaigns, and even treatment programs have focused almost exclusively on women and girls. As a result, men with eating disorders are often dismissed and never diagnosed. Yet men experience every form of eating disorder, including anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and binge eating disorder, – often in silence – because shame tells them this illness “isn’t supposed to happen” to them.

These rigid ideas about who gets sick don’t just harm individuals, they narrow our understanding of mental illnesses. Just as men experience eating disorders, women live with ADHD, and both men and women can struggle with depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia. 

Cedar’s courage in sharing her journey reminds us that recovery begins with being seen, heard and understood. She challenges us to listen differently and to notice suffering, even when it doesn’t look the way we expect it to.